about the title: karandash means pencil. but also name of a russian clown. in my poems i invite the reader to reflect on existence. growth and the desire for loyalty and strength are central. i'm researching: 'i hope, expectation and the pursuit of a grip'. i'm researching: 'saying goodbye, the memories of loved ones and processing loss'. the memories of beloved pets also get a place. but i would also like to describe the experience of novelty, regret and the search for beauty and security in later life. so my backyard becomes a paradise and even mosquitoes are viewed with humor.